How Your Loved Ones REALLY Want To Be Loved (And How You Want It Too)

Tweetable: We often give love the way we best receive love, which isn’t always best for our loved ones.” @AdamMSiddiq

Human beings are the most co-dependent species in the planet. We need each other to both survive and thrive. We all share an inherent need for connection and love, and although we all need love…we all don’t feel it the same way. In fact, we often give love the way we best receive love, which isn’t always best for our loved ones. A loved one may tell us that they love us and unless we’re physically touched…we might not get lit up at all. On the other hand, we can hug and kiss a lover all over and although they may like it…they may feel ecstatically loved when we express our love with verbally with compliments.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkVZSUKAqrk

So how can we discover the best way to give the love that our loved ones best receive? And how can we discover and express how we best feel loved to them? It’s simple: We take the 5 Love Languages quiz with our loved ones and share results, and then consciously express love to each other the way each other receives it best…rather than the way we want to receive love. The 5 Love Languages include:

1. Physical Touch

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This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.

2. Quality Time

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In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

3. Acts Of Service

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Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts. Pick up your upright vacuum cleaner and take the weight off your significant other’s feet as you take care of cleaning the floors.

4. Receiving Gifts

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Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.

5. Words Of Affirmation

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Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.

What’s your favorite way of receiving love?

For me, it’s physical touch. In fact, I scored the highest possible score with physical touch with quality time as a close second. Nothing says I love you more than hugs and kisses to me!

I’d love to hear what your primary love language is below! In a relationship? Get your partner to do the quiz too and share both your results below in the comment section!

With Love,

Adam

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